Momager’s Special: 2 for 1 Deal

7 Nov

A Topic Barley Touched

Over the past several years, the teen mom epidemic has been a controversial subject in the nation. The topic made itself popular when MTV aired 16 and Pregnant with a spinoff called Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2. I had never taken interest in the shows-until I became a teen mom myself. I have followed the t.v. show since, even though it has turned into more of a soap opera as opposed to the daily struggles of raising a child at a young age. Not to mention, these girls makes thousands off the show, while many young mothers struggle to make ends meet. So, the teen mom epidemic has since been highly publicized, but what about the dads? No one knows the issue as “the teen dad epidemic”, so where do they fall into play? What do they struggle with? Most of the time the dads are kept in the dark and do not receive as harsh of backlash as the mothers. What is the day in the life of a teen dad? Unless a t.v. show is made for them or teen dads begin to voice their experiences, this topic may be kept under wraps.

You Have to Date My Kid Too, Pal.

An even more untouched subject falls within the young dad’s who date women with children, who are not their own. For example, my boyfriend Ashton, of a little over a year, has been in my daughter’s life since we started dating. I made a point that he was not just going to be involved in my life, but hers too. I sat him down and explained that he was not just going to be dating me, but essentially, my daughter too. We went over this again and again. I wanted to make sure he knew what he was getting into. (quote) He already had a baby of his own, so you can see why I would question him time and time again to make sure this is what he really wanted. Guess what? He did. I stayed persistent, probably annoying the hell out of him asking the same question over and over day after day. Finally I realized I needed to focus on what he was doing for my daughter as opposed to worrying about what he needed to do.

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No Return Policy

So, like anyone else, I have made my fair share of mistakes. One of the biggest regrets I have, is exposing my daughter to previous boyfriends who weren’t really “all in” on becoming parents. I don’t blame them, the late-teen years and early 20’s are supposed to be the time of your life. I messed up, but I learned. I can’t take back letting these people fool me and my kid into thinking they would be around forever. That is one hell of a commitment, I don’t blame any of them for that. But, this one, this one guy, out of them all, really was all in. Never have I ever been able to sleep in as much as I did the last 4 years, never have I ever had the luxury of actually taking my time in getting ready, never have I ever had someone take over my parent role when I needed a break. The last year and a half, I have been able to focus a little more and care a little more about myself all thanks to Ashton. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mother, but everyone needs a break. No longer does all the responsibility fall on my shoulders as a parent. All the help and comfort I receive from him is such a nice change, but, the factor that really calms my soul, is that he does this because he wants to, not because he has to. Even though he is a full-time student at Laramie County Community College, and works 6 nights a week at The Albany, he still makes time to be an awesome father figure. Oh, and I love the guy too, so that’s always a plus.

I’m In the Same Boat

Recently after a long year, Ashton has been able to see his son more regularly. Which means baby comes over to my house for visitation. HOLY COW. I don’t understand how Ashton was able just to jump into me and my kids life effortlessly, because personally I am terrified of being a step-parent. Honestly I think I am over thinking the whole thing because I love babies! I already struggle with “am I a good enough parent?” I always think I could be doing something more, something better. So now, I have two little humans I feel like I have to do great for. I know I can do it, I’ve only been around Ashton’s son about 4 times, so there is tons of time to learn and grow in the relationship I have with him. It’s a scary thing I’m torn between wanting to do everything I can for him, like I do my own daughter, but at the same time, I don’t want to overstep any boundaries with his mother.

I’m still learning, I’m still growing. I have so much to learn from Ashton when it comes to step-parenting, but I know I have the best teacher out there. We got this. ♥

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